AI-Powered Website Feedback

Your site is probably terrible. Let's find out.

Drop your URL and get a brutally honest, actionable critique of your website's copy, UX, calls to action, and first impressions. No sugar-coating. No vague advice.

https://

Instant report. One-time payment. No account needed.

// Sample roast output — acmeplumbing.co.uk

3/10

Hero Section

"Welcome to Acme Plumbing." That's your headline. Not what you do, not why I should care, not even which city you serve. It's a greeting, not a hook. My mum's fridge magnet is more compelling.

5/10

Call to Action

You have three CTAs in the hero: "Learn More", "Get in Touch", and "Our Services". You've given me a buffet when I just want to book a plumber. Pick one. Make it bold. Make it obvious.

31/100

Functional. Forgettable. Fixable.

UX Analysis◆Copy Critique◆CTA Audit◆Mobile Check◆First Impressions◆SEO Basics◆Trust Signals◆Speed Impression◆UX Analysis◆Copy Critique◆CTA Audit◆Mobile Check◆First Impressions◆SEO Basics◆Trust Signals◆Speed Impression◆UX Analysis◆Copy Critique◆CTA Audit◆Mobile Check◆First Impressions◆SEO Basics◆Trust Signals◆Speed Impression◆

How it works

Enter your URL

Drop your website address. We'll fetch the page, screenshot it, and analyse everything visible above and below the fold.

30 seconds

AI does the dirty work

Our AI reads your copy, evaluates your layout, checks your CTAs, and judges your first impression — the way a potential customer would.

Instant analysis

Get your roast

A scored, categorised report with specific callouts and actionable fixes. Brutal where needed. Honest always. Downloadable as PDF.

PDF included

What's in the report

Headline & Copy Critique

Does your hero say anything meaningful? Is your copy customer-focused or just self-congratulatory waffle? We'll tell you.

CTA Audit

How many CTAs, where they sit, whether they're compelling, and why "Click Here" is a war crime.

First Impression Score

You have 5 seconds. We simulate what a cold visitor sees and feels — and whether they stay or bounce.

Trust Signal Check

Social proof, testimonials, credentials, contact info — the things that make a stranger trust you with their money.

Mobile Experience

Half your visitors are on a phone. We'll flag if your mobile experience is embarrassing your business.

Priority Fix List

A ranked list of the 5 things to fix first. Ordered by impact, not effort. Start here and see results fast.

Simple pricing

One report. One price. No subscription.

^£9

per roast // instant delivery // PDF included

→ Full 6-category website roast
→ Scored out of 100 with category breakdowns
→ Specific, actionable callouts
→ Prioritised fix list
→ Downloadable PDF report
→ Honest. Brutal. Useful.

Who is this for?

Small business owners, freelancers, and startup founders who suspect their website isn't pulling its weight but don't want to pay £500 for a consultant to tell them the same thing.

How is this different from free tools like Google PageSpeed?

PageSpeed tells you your images are too large. We tell you your headline is forgettable, your CTA is buried, and your homepage reads like it was written for your ego, not your customer.

Will it hurt my feelings?

Almost certainly. But the truth is more valuable than politeness. Every callout comes with a fix — we're not here to mock you, we're here to make you better.

What if I disagree with the feedback?

You're free to ignore it. But if three separate people tell you your fly is undone, at some point you check your fly.

Do you store my report?

Your report is available immediately after payment. Download the PDF — we don't keep reports indefinitely.